Voices
by Bert
Summary: Preqeul to Faces. *complete*


Title: Voices (1/1)  
  
Author: Bert  
  
Rating: R - Slightly disturbing imagery...  
  
Disclaimer: blah blah, own nothing, blah yadda, owned by JW etc etc blah.  
  
Summary: Prequel to Faces, read this first.  
  
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Xander's eyes snapped open as he woke with a start, as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the feeble light he listened out for any strange sounds.Â  Something must have woken him up he reasoned glancing over at the clock and mentally groaned as the red digits flashed the time at him.Â  "5am!" his mind screamed at him fall back asleep, it was way too early.  
  
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He felt Anya stir softly in her sleep as she lay curled up around him, looking down at her he smiled softly towards her.Â  She looked so beautiful when sleeping, the predawn gloom adding soft shadows across her skin.  
  
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Carefully reaching out his hand he gently touched her, still marvelling at how soft and smooth her skin was under his hands.Â  He slowly traced his fingertips up her arms towards her face.  
  
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That's it his inner voice softly encouraged him as his hands explored her body, a little higher it commanded.  
  
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Xander gently stroked the sensitive area at the nape of her neck, his fingers barely touching the flesh, just enough to slightly stimulate the nerve endings.Â  He smiled as a soft sigh of pleasure escaped her lips.  
  
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Do it the voice said, you know you want to, it'd be so easy  
  
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"Do what?" he mentally asked himself.  
  
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The voice didn't immediately answer, some how he got an impression of a surprised silence, why kill her of course it answered as if it was obvious, it's so easy, just wrap your hand around her throat and squeeze  
  
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Xander ceased his movements in shock.  
  
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Encouraged the voice continued, you can see it can't you.Â  Slowly choking the life out of her, her eyes wide in shock and betrayal as she futilely struggles against your grasp.Â  You feel it, don't you, the power you have as she dies underneath you...  
  
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Xander yanked his hands away from her and bolted upright in bed, "No" he shouted.  
  
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"Xander?" Anya asked groggily as she blinked herself awake, "What's wrong?"  
  
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"Nothing" he said quietly taking deep breaths to control his breathing, "it was just a nightmare that's all.Â  Go back to sleep."Â  He leant down and kissed her slowly back into bed.  
  
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"You coming?" she asked holding up the covers for him.  
  
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He looked down at the inviting bed and could easily picture her naked form that awaited him beneath them.Â  Then he remembered what he was thinking about before waking her up.Â  Anya saw the blank look on his face and slowly lowered them, "is everything alright?" she asked worriedly.  
  
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Xander didn't immediately answer, "I'd better get ready," he said giving her a quick peck on her cheek before hurrying to the shower.  
  
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Closing and locking the door behind him Xander quickly stripped and practically jumped into the shower.Â  He turned the hot water on full, feeling unclean he frantically scrubbed his skin raw, not paying any attention as the water scolded him.Â  Images kept flashing in his mind of him kneeling over Anya's naked body, her body lifelessly flailing like a doll as he continued to crush her neck.Â  Frustrated he turned the shower temperature down, completely switching off the hot water.Â  He held his mouth open in a silent scream as the cold water cascaded over his body, yet he made no move to get out from under the stream.  
  
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After an eternity Xander stepped out from the shower, still shivering from the cold he hurried out of the apartment, unwilling or unable to face her at this time.  
  
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"I'm coming" Willow practically shouted at whoever was banging at her door.Â  With a last glance around her room to make sure no signs of magic were resent she headed towards the door, pulling on her dressing gown as she went.Â  "What?" she snapped flinging open the door, "Xander?" she asked.  
  
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Xander glanced up and down the corridor, "is Tara in?" he asked nervously peering into the room.  
  
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Willow looked back into the room, "no, she went shopping.Â  Why?"  
  
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"Good, I want to talk to you alone," Xander gingerly stepped into the room knowing that she would never invite him in, just in case.Â  He understood, he would do just the same despite it being sunny out, he knew from experience that magic has a nasty habit of kicking you in the teeth, especially his.Â  "I think I need help," he said nervously sitting down on her bed.  
  
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Willow closed the door and pounced on his wording, "help?" she asked taking in his haggard look, "what's wrong?" she asked concerned sitting down next to him.Â  Getting no immediate response she gently placed a hand on his arm, "Xander? Is it Anya?" she asked.  
  
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Xander nodded, trying to keep the tears in.  
  
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"Has something happened to her?" she asked looking worried.  
  
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Xander shook his head in denial, "everything's fine with her.Â  It's me" he sniffed.  
  
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"Go on, you can tell me," she encouraged, "you're my best friend.Â  You can trust me."  
  
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He studied her for a moment before relaxing slightly trusting her judgement, "I woke up this morning having these strange thoughts."  
  
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"You're gay," interrupted Willow, "it's perfectly normal and I quite understand."  
  
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"What?" Xander's opened wider in shock, "it's not that."Â  Then he stopped and quickly backtracked, "besides I'm not gay" he virtually growled.  
  
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"Oh", she sounded disappointed, "so what's wrong then?"  
  
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"You promise not to tell?" he begged.  
  
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"Of course" Willow made a motion of zipping up her lips and throwing away the key.  
  
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"I think I want to hurt Anya."  
  
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Willows eyes widened, "hurt her, why?"  
  
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Xander punched his leg in frustration, "I don't know.Â  I woke up this morning and it was like this little voice in my head telling me how great it would be to do that."  
  
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Willow grabbed his head and forced him to look at her, she peered carefully into his eyes, "you haven't been near any magic or anything?" Xander shook his head, "The truth." Demanded Willow.  
  
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"No, nothing."  
  
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"Oh" Willow thought for a moment, "it could be that one of her previous victims might be seeking revenge now she's mortal.Â  They could be using you a conduit."  
  
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Xander sighed resignedly, "great.Â  How do I stop it?" he asked.  
  
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Willow smirked, "you don't.Â  I do.Â  Did you do anything?" she asked.  
  
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"Huh?"  
  
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"Did you attempt to harm her?" Willow clarified looking at him for any sign of deceit.  
  
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"No, I wouldn't!"  
  
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Willow smiled and nodded in understanding, "good, its means that you're stronger than whoever it is.Â  Don't worry about it, if they could get you to harm Anya you already would have, they won't succeed again now you're aware of them."Â  She led him to the door, "I'll find a spell to block their influence."  
  
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Xander smiled, "Thanks Wills, you're the best." He pulled her into a brief hug, then he looked worried, "what if they try again?" he asked starting to panic.  
  
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"Ignore it," she shrugged ushering him out of the door.Â  She quickly closed leaving a bewildered Xander standing in the corridor.Â  Whistling merrily with that load off his mind he hurried off to work.  
  
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Pulling up outside Buffy's house Xander went round to the back of his car and removed the various tools he would need.Â  Looking towards the house he saw Dawn peering out at him through the letterbox.Â  Grabbing the tool box in one hand and the wood in the other he quickly strode up to the door hoping that she would have enough sense to open it before he collapsed with a hernia.  
  
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"Xander!" He smiled in relief as the door opened to reveal Dawn, "is that heavy?" she asked pointing at his burdened hands.  
  
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"Nah," he grinned in reply, "Where does Buffy want these shelves?" he asked.  
  
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Dawn led him through to the study and pointed at the bare wall, "over there," she said.  
  
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Xander quickly placed everything down into the centre of the room and started measuring out where the brackets should go.Â  Dawn retreated to the door way and just stood there watching him work.  
  
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Looking up at her from sawing the wood Xander turned to Dawn and wiped the sweat from his forehead, "Is the heating on?" he asked.  
  
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Dawn looked surprised, "hold on, I'll check." She retreated to the meter and turned the heating up a notch.Â  Quickly returning, she shook her head, "no, it's off.Â  Why are you hot?" she blushed slightly as naughty voices in her head agreed, "you can take your shirt off if you want, I won't mind," the words came in a rush.  
  
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Xander regarded her coolly and smiled, he made a show of slowly undoing the top button of his shirt.Â  His smile widened when he saw Dawn lick her lips slightly.Â  He stopped, "I'm ok, I think I'll keep it on, I wouldn't want any splinters."Â  He tried not to laugh at her disappointed look.  
  
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"Fine, be that way" Dawn fumed as she stormed off back into the living room.  
  
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Xander chuckled softly to himself as he returned back to work.  
  
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Carrying the hammer Xander wandered through to the room, he saw her head just above the sofa as she watched the television.Â  "Hey Dawn, have you got any nails."Â  Well that's what he wanted to say, that's what he opened his mouth to say, that's what his brain thought he said.Â  Only nothing came out.Â  Instead his gaze quickly flicked from the hammer in his hand to the back of Dawn's head.Â  Hammer flick, head flick.Â  The voice was back, hammer head hammer head.  
  
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He stood rooted to the spot fighting against the impulse that was threatening to overwhelm him.Â  go on the voice insisted, so easy, just raise the hammer, that's it... a bit more.Â  Xander tightened his grip on the handle and forced his arm lower.  
  
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a bit higherÂ  he looked and saw that his arm hadn't moved, you can taste it can't you, her death Xander involuntarily licked his lips, picture it, the soft claw entering her head, blood and brains spraying across the couch as you pull it free, oh yes  
  
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Xander took a soft step forward.  
  
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see it the voice insisted taste it feel it touch it want it, her broken body lying across the floor, her blood soaking into the carpet, almost waiting to be discovered by Buffy The voice seized on the feelings that entered his mind at the thought of her, you can take her you know.Â  You're strong Another step forward.  
  
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waited so long, wanted her so much from afar, afraid to go near.Â  Why wait, take her she can't resist An image of a bloody corpse flashed in his mind.Â  if she does, well so much the better.Â  She'll be no match for you after finding your little present.Â  Xander had reached the sofa and was standing directly behind her, feels good doesn't it? Hearing those screams  
  
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Dawn was totally engrossed in the television programme, what a hunk she thought to herself thinking of Xander unaware of him approaching from behind.  
  
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Xander loomed over Dawn looking down at her head.Â  Slowly he raised the hammer ready to swing downwards, ready to end a life.Â  His eyes were dead, unseeing.  
  
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Dawn reached for the remote control and idly flicked through the tv channels, unaware of the weapon poised above.Â  She stopped at MTV and turned the volume up high, she moved slightly in the chair in time to the music.Â  Suddenly the front door slammed, looking up she saw.... nothing..... "Xander?" she asked calling into the back of the house.Â  No answer.  
  
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Xander was breathing heavily as he sped away from the house, almost hyperventilating even.Â  Help, he needed help.Â  Willows face appeared in his mind, "yes," he gasped, "Willow will know what to do." Just as quickly he decided against it, "I might hurt her."Â  His hands were still shaking from what he had almost done.  
  
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"Giles" he gasped out his name, "he'll know... and he can defend himself if need be."  
  
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Xander quickly turned the car around and sped towards the watches house.Â  Screeching to a stop outside his house Xander ran up the door and barged straight into the house, not bothering to know on the door.  
  
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"Giles! Giles!" he called running though the hallway.  
  
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"In the kitchen"  
  
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Xander ran into the kitchen, "Giles, thank god, you've got to help me"  
  
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"What is it?" Giles turned around to face him still holding the carving knife in his hand.Â  Xander looked at the work surface and saw the neatly chopped pieces of chicken.  
  
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do it  
  
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Giles followed his gaze and looked at the food, whilst he was distracted Xander leapt forward and wrenched the knife out of this hands.Â  "Xander, what?" he asked confused.  
  
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He didn't have a chance to continue as Xander plunged the knife deep into Giles stomach, the sharp blade easily cutting through the muscle and sinew.Â  Before the watcher could react Xander pulled it out and plunged it in again, and again, again.Â  Blood bubbled up out of Giles mouth and Xander continued to stab at the old man.Â  He stood over him watching as he died in a pool of his own blood.  
  
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yes the voice was triumphant.  
  
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"Xander, what's wrong?"  
  
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Xander blinked and looked at Giles holding the knife.Â  Without a word he turned and fled.Â  Jumping into his car Xander drove off determined to leave the town before he could hurt anyone.  
  
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He drove for hours, already it was starting to get dark as the sun lowered in the sky.Â  Looking up at the angry red orb sudden inspiration struck as he realised what he should do.Â  He berated himself for not thinking of this sooner, turning the corner he continued onwards to his destination.  
  
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Spike just left his crypt at sundown when he found Xander standing before him with a weird smile on his face.  
  
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"What do you want?" he asked not really caring.  
  
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Xander said nothing, merely stepped forwards pulled back his arm ready to strike.Â  Spike blinked at the fist not really believing that the whelp would dare attack him, until the fist struck that is knocking him out cold.  
  
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Still silent Xander quickly dragged Spike back to the crypt and closed the door behind him. 


End file.
